How I Became a Mom

In the interest of starting at the very beginning, I’m going to spend the next couple of weeks talking about how I became the mom of the three most wonderful boys in the world.

After my partner and I had lived together for about a year, we found we both were interested in having kids, but that’s not so easy for 2 women.  So, after exploring our options, we decided to look into foster care.  We went through the training, and home inspections, and reference checks, and fingerprinting…

It’s really not an easy process – I don’t know how the bad apples sometimes slip through.

We finally received our license on Monday, October 30, 1995.  On the 31st, Debbie’s uncle in Michigan passed, and we made plans to go to Michigan for the weekend funeral.  Wouldn’t you know it, they called Thursday evening and asked if we could take two brothers, ages 5 years and 6-months.  I had asked for an infant, and Debbie wanted a school-aged child, so this seemed perfect.

We told the social worker we’d be happy to take the boys, but we needed them to stay in emergency placement until we got back from Michigan.  We spent Friday morning arranging daycare, then left for Michigan, and got back home late Saturday night.  I can’t say I remember much about the trip – it was all a blur, but I do remember that one of Debbie’s sister-in-laws was so excited for us.  It was great to have that validation.

Debbie had to work on Sunday, and we had wanted to pick up the kids together, but they were in two separate emergency homes and one of the couples had plans early Sunday afternoon, so I said I’d go alone to get Robbie, the older child.  I spent the morning trying to put together the crib by myself – nearly had to stand on my head to hold up the sides while I was screwing in the hardware.  Once that was done, I ran to Montgomery Wards to pick up sheets and kid-themed towels, then raced over to the other side of town to get Robbie.

I knocked on the door, and who should answer but a guy who works right down the hall from me!  I’d never talked to him other than to say hello, but again it seemed like kismet – just another sign that this was the right thing to do and that these were the right children.  Robbie didn’t want to leave “Big John’s” house, but we were finally able to get him belted in the back seat of my Honda, and we set off for home.

He chattered the whole way to the house, but I couldn’t understand much of what he said.  His speech was very tough to understand, but he did have the 4-letter words down pat.  I tried to get him interested in singing some songs, but the only one he knew was “Bad Boys” from the title sequence of Cops.  Turns out he had spent a lot of time locked in his room with a TV, and that was his favorite show.

When we pulled into the driveway, he did say (very clearly), “I like your house!”  I was thrilled.  We went inside, and he was a bit overwhelmed by the dogs swarming around him.  I finally had to put him in the living room behind the baby gate, with the dogs locked out.  We played a few board games, and I went into his bedroom to put the new sheets on.  I was amazed that Robbie could get the 4th corner of a fitted sheet on all by himself.  That tells you a bit about his home life right there.

Through most of the afternoon, he kept asking where “Baby Jimmy” was, and I told him we’d go pick up Jimmy when Debbie got home.  I’ll tell you about that next time.

Thanks for stopping by,

Beth

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